Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
