Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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