Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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