Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea