Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
