definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
