you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
