He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
