If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
