Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize