Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
