We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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