i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
