My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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