I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
