i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
