and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
