Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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