I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
God I need to hump something, right now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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