But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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