nut hugger
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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