Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize