that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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