He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
