Your face is a jimmy john
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
