I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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