Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
