it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
