Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
