I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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