im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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