Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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