I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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