That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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