yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
that's an acceptable place to lick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
