New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
