Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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