bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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