Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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