I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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