how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
