in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
