hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
