so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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