He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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