The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
