but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
