May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
