in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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