Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
