i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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