Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
