she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
