It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
3 2 1 whiskey
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
