hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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