That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
