this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They took my balls.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize