I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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