there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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