Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
