i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
