She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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