I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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